Kipona

Do we really ever grow up. The reason why I bring this up is because of the things that go on at work. When I see a supervisor yelling at staff because they wont do what she wants them to do. This staff was never told what she was supposed to do either. Even though she never what she was told what she was supposed to do, she got yelled at anyway.

What’s sad is this supervisor has made staff quit. Five ladies from my work, ended up quiting this year. It’s because they can’t stand this supervisors behavior.

So I took this situation to my director.

This supervisor has been on my case as well, usually I don’t let people’s behavior get to me. But she started judging my son because he can’t crawl or walk. He was born three and a half months early so his development will be delayed. And on top of his prematurity, he has other complications. he has cerebral palsy, loss of hearing in his left ear, and his left eye won’t turn all they way out because he has six nerve palsy which controls the movement of your eyes. So told her how the supervisor has been judging my son because of his disability of not being able to crawl or walk. This is when I get defensive, I will not tolerate anyone acting this way towards my son, I don’t care who they are I will stand up to them If I have to.
Yesterday my partner ended up quiting because of the things this supervisor said to her. I don’t know what my director will do, If I were the director this supervisor would be fired right away. That kind of behavior would never be tolerated in my daycare.

There is no excuse for her behavior. her behavior reminds me of how elementary kids act sometimes when they don’t get their way.

This is the reason for my title. I see lot’s of adult behaving like this. Namely people in the Mormon church. These are the adults who run our country. It’s scary. I hope the next generation will grow up and behave like adults when they become embers of our society. It would be scary to have adults with the same type of behavior as my supervisor running our country or state.
So what can we do to prevent this from happening. Start preparing them for the future. These people should have good education before getting out into the world. They need to learn how to figure things out in their minds and stop using those dumb calculators. We have brains they are there for a reason. So we need to learn how to use them.
One thing that make people behave like children is the amount of television they watch through out their growing up years. Children need to learn how to use their imaginations. This is how they learn to solve problems later on it life when they become adults.

There are so many things I need to bring out. I’m not a very open person when it comes to expressing myself. And so most of my thoughts are put on a back burner.

I was born and raised in the LDS church. All my growing up years I was taught about it’s teachings and how I can live my life. While I was in that organization. I knew who I was. I knew what life was about and how I can live.

And now I’m really not a part of that church anymore. I found that their teachings are based on lies.

Now I feel like I no place to go; no place of refuge. I feel like a boat without oars, and the waves are just rocking me but I’m not moving anywhere.

Now I feel I need to find my own path. The world is like a huge maze. I just need to find the right course to follow.

Lately I’ve been learnig how to play chess. I love it because I feel like I’m escaping from the real world. Well that’s how I used to feel. Now I see that chess is life and not just a game to play.

I feel that I might have found my solace through chess. Even though it’s still all so new to me. I feel that I’m learning more each time I play a game or watch other people play it.

I still have a long way to go. But I feel as I play and learn about the different moves. I’ll finally learn who I am.

Well this all for now. I will be reporting on my chess games and lessons as I learn more each time. This is going to be interesting.

Goodnight for now.

It’s funny how you get onto these paths and find yourself twisted around after awhile. Well I think I found my path but it’s still alittle clouded. I know that I have a path that calls to me. I just need to open my eyes and clear my vision so that I can see it better.

This new path will guide to freedom. The old path is hard to leave. It was safe to me. Will I loose myself if I choose stay on that path.

The new path is scary because I don’t Know what’s at the end of it. The uncertain feeling is nerve racking.

The old path is the LDS church. It was a guide that kept on the straight and narrow. My desisions were made for me.
The new path is leaving the church and looking for my own truth.
So now I have tp deside which path I should follow.
I know that I need to take my time. Because the desision that I make in the end will take care of my future.

It’s like steping into a dark room. You are blind until your eyes adjust to it. So here I go.

I’m so greatful for my husband and friends who support me.

I work in a daycare. My job is to work with the infants and toddlers.

It was towards the end of the day. A mother had come to pick her child up. As I handed her child to her, she started crying. She wanted me to keep holding her.

She has gotten that attached to me. Her mama was surprised at how clingy her child was to me. She thought it was cute how she wanted to cling to me like that. This childs reaction surprised me too.

I learned something through this situation. When the student is ready to learn, then the right teacher will be there.

This poem reminds me of why I love working with little children so mutch.

The Essence of Humanity

by © ‘92 SH/CJW/SP

The essence of humanity is the soul.

Or the soul is the essence of humanity.

When we are born we are closest to the source of our being,

the pool or cloud of essence from which we come.

As children we see the world from a different perspective,

a perspective uninhibited by reason or society’s norms.

Children, to us ‘civilized’ controlled adults, sometimes seem monsters,

and unruly (not ruled).

They have a will of their own and abide by laws

of their instincts.

They are truest to their own natures.

They see monsters we do not see, hear noises we cannot hear,

ask questions we do not understand because our vision,

or hearing, our understanding and the knowledge

of truth has been hidden from us by reason.

Children trust as only nature can prepare us to trust.

They have no intentional malice or bad will,

this adults teach them.

They are in tune with the clouds of souls from which they came.

We are all a part of the same pool of essence.

The pool of essence is what binds us together, in moments of intuition, passion, pain.

Those who become overwhelmed with reason, rules and inhibitions,

do not see themselves as they are, only as reason and rules

tell them they should be.

Religion inhibits our natural urges and instincts,

saying that it is in praise of a god or by a god’s command.

Actually inhibiting our nature is against god.

God is the essence from which we come

and we are all a part of that essence.

We are more than the sum of our parts, we are the absolute.

To deny that is to degrade it as if it is something unnatural.

There are some whom we label as special,

genius, mentallly ill, crazy, artistic, or creative,

who through their instincts, may paint a portrait, write a poem,

compose a stanza, scream uncontrollably,

trying to realize the beauty they see

into something the physical self can understand.

The beauty that others are blind to, the essence of humanity

I love the great outdoors

nature is my thing.

Sharing time with a child

making cards from paper, glue, and pen

sharing time on a rainy day

to touch a life in a positive way.

****

We humans are the most amazing creatures that exisit on this planet.

I’ve been studying astrology:

This is so fascinating. It’s helping me understand people alittle better. I have alot to learn. And I know Astrology isn’t the whole answer. But it is a beginning step to my understanding. I know that there are answers out there. I just need to search them. It may take until my next life to find them but I will not give up my search.

“Rest Neo, the answers are coming.” from Morpheus in “The Matrix”

Good night all: loke

Our DSL was down for seven days. That’s the reason why I haven’t posted anything for a while.

It was so bad. It took forever to get a technician to come out here to fix it for us.

Not being able to log in and post my thoughts was so frustrating. I had all these thoughts that I wanted to post in my blog. But I couldn’t because of the DSL problem.

I’m so glad that it’s back up and running again. I had tones of unchecked Email. It so bad.

Now that it’s up and running I can finally write my thoughts down. Thank goodness.

Here are some of my thoughts that I wanted to write:

I went to church last week. I just went to the sacrament meeting. Those people are so blind. I can’t believe how sucked in I was when I was a member.

They were baring their testimonies, saying how they knew that the church was true and how they knew that Christ was alive. And how much he loves us.

I wanted so bad to get up and tell these people that they needed to act like Christ not just believe in him. He showed us how we should act. So if you know that he loves us. Don’t you think you should show him you love him by acting like him. Or better yet, become that Christ that you believe in so much.

How can we become that Christ? By doing the things he did.

Don’t walk beside Christ. Become him.

Receive his image in your countenance

Live so that people will want to know Christ because they know you

These are some quotes I would have laid before these people.

I realized that I’d be just wasting my time up there. So I got up and left instead.

There are many games we play. People don’t even know that they are playing games. They come so natural to us that we don’t notice that it’s all a game.

These games become our teaching tools. I work with children. Their attention span is so short; so when I teach them, I turn my lessons into games. When you teach with games they find a desire to learn more. If I make the lesson more like a chore, they will become bored and I will lose their concentration. If I tell them that they are going to play a game, they get more excited to learn. They will do what you ask them to do.

(for example) One of my coworkers in the day care I work at tried to get the children to clean up their toys. They just ignored her. So she decided to make a game out of it. she said to them, “Ok kids, lets see who can put the toys away the fastest.” As soon as she made it into a contest, they got all excited and cleaned up the toys. They had the them all picked in timely fashion. And were ready to move on to their next project.

Isn’t that how us adults are too sometimes? We are when we meet new people. We move into game mode to test them and to see who they are. How are these games played? It’s our expressions and body language that we use. That person may play into the game. Or they will try to change the course of the game into a whole new game.

People are amazing. As I mentioned in the beginning, “We learn through the games we play.”

Who likes games? What are they learning from them?

What is the best way to forgive ourselves? One of the things I do, is look in the mirror. I remind myself that I’m still human. Human beings do make mistakes all the time. So I tell myself to pick myself up and learn from that mistake. And don’t keep rehashing the mistake in your mind either.

Take care of your self. You have to live with your self so why not be your best friend.

Just remember you are a special person. The world would not be the same with out you in it. Some time it’s good to talk about our problems and mistakes with a friend. Getting it out in the open is a great way to start the good feelings again.

It’s hard to forget those mistakes too. So when my thought revert back to that mistake. I quickly get it out of my head by putting another thought in it’s place.

Writing your thoughts down is a good way to get your frustrations out. Taking walks or treating yourself to a good book or show is a great way to get rid of thoughts.

I’ve been playing the game called Myst.  Myst is unlike most games.  It has a story line it it.  The story goes like this.

It’s about a man named Atrus and his family.  They find a world under the ground near their home.  It’s called D’ni.  It’ all destroyed.  But it has ancient ruins and old books.  Atrus learns how to write ages (stories that you can link to).  It’s really interesting.

It reminds me of the agnostics and the way they think about life.

The last game is called Myst 5.  It is filled with ages too.  You go on quests.  Each quest leads to the same place where you start.

I am learning so much from these stories.  One of the biggest things I’ve  learned is how importance to ask questions.  And how important it is to search for answers.  And not to leave any rock unturned.

My husband and just read over the declaration in the scriptures. We noticed that there were a lot of words skipped in it. Hum, I wonder what they were. It’s like they are trying to hide something.

Here it is: I’ll underline the lines that look like they maybe incomplete.

To Whom It May Concern:

Press dispatches having been sent for political purposes, from Salt Lake City, which have been widely published, to the effect that the Utah Commission, in their recent report to the Secretary of the Interior, allege that plural marriages are still being solemnized and that forty or more such marriages have been contracted in Utah since last June or during the past year, also that in public discourses the leaders of the Church have taught, encouraged and urged the continuance of the practice of polygamy—

I, therefore, as President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, do hereby, in the most solemn manner, declare that these charges are false. We are not teaching polygamy or plural marriage, nor permitting any person to enter into its practice, and I deny that either forty or any other number of plural marriages have during that period been solemnized in our Temples or in any other place in the Territory.

One case has been reported, in which the parties allege that the marriage was performed in the Endowment House, in Salt Lake City, in the Spring of 1889, but I have not been able to learn who performed the ceremony; whatever was done in this matter was without my knowledge. In consequence of this alleged occurrence the Endowment House was, by my instructions, taken down without delay.

Inasmuch as laws have been enacted by Congress forbidding plural marriages, which laws have been pronounced constitutional by the court of last resort, I hereby declare my intention to submit to those laws, and to use my influence with the members of the Church over which I preside to have them do likewise.

There is nothing in my teachings to the Church or in those of my associates, during the time specified, which can be reasonably construed to inculcate or encourage polygamy; and when any Elder of the Church has used language which appeared to convey any such teaching, he has been promptly reproved. And I now publicly declare that my advice to the Latter-day Saints is to refrain from contracting any marriage forbidden by the law of the land.

WILFORD WOODRUFF
President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

President Lorenzo Snow offered the following:

“I move that, recognizing Wilford Woodruff as the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the only man on the earth at the present time who holds the keys of the sealing ordinances, we consider him fully authorized by virtue of his position to issue the Manifesto which has been read in our hearing, and which is dated September 24th, 1890, and that as a Church in General Conference assembled, we accept his declaration concerning plural marriages as authoritative and binding.”

The vote to sustain the foregoing motion was unanimous.

Salt Lake City, Utah, October 6, 1890.

EXCERPTS FROM THREE ADDRESSES BY
PRESIDENT WILFORD WOODRUFF
REGARDING THE MANIFESTO

The Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as President of this Church to lead you astray. It is not in the programme. It is not in the mind of God. If I were to attempt that, the Lord would remove me out of my place, and so He will any other man who attempts to lead the children of men astray from the oracles of God and from their duty. (Sixty-first Semiannual General Conference of the Church, Monday, October 6, 1890, Salt Lake City, Utah. Reported in Deseret Evening News, October 11, 1890, p. 2.)

It matters not who lives or who dies, or who is called to lead this Church, they have got to lead it by the inspiration of Almighty God. If they do not do it that way, they cannot do it at all. . . .

I have had some revelations of late, and very important ones to me, and I will tell you what the Lord has said to me. Let me bring your minds to what is termed the manifesto. . . .

The Lord has told me to ask the Latter-day Saints a question, and He also told me that if they would listen to what I said to them and answer the question put to them, by the Spirit and power of God, they would all answer alike, and they would all believe alike with regard to this matter.

The question is this: Which is the wisest course for the Latter-day Saints to pursue—to continue to attempt to practice plural marriage, with the laws of the nation against it and the opposition of sixty millions of people, and at the cost of the confiscation and loss of all the Temples, and the stopping of all the ordinances therein, both for the living and the dead, and the imprisonment of the First Presidency and Twelve and the heads of families in the Church, and the confiscation of personal property of the people (all of which of themselves would stop the practice); or, after doing and suffering what we have through our adherence to this principle to cease the practice and submit to the law, and through doing so leave the Prophets, Apostles and fathers at home, so that they can instruct the people and attend to the duties of the Church, and also leave the Temples in the hands of the Saints, so that they can attend to the ordinances of the Gospel, both for the living and the dead?

The Lord showed me by vision and revelation exactly what would take place if we did not stop this practice. If we had not stopped it, you would have had no use for . . . any of the men in this temple at Logan; for all ordinances would be stopped throughout the land of Zion. Confusion would reign throughout Israel, and many men would be made prisoners. This trouble would have come upon the whole Church, and we should have been compelled to stop the practice. Now, the question is, whether it should be stopped in this manner, or in the way the Lord has manifested to us, and leave our Prophets and Apostles and fathers free men, and the temples in the hands of the people, so that the dead may be redeemed. A large number has already been delivered from the prison house in the spirit world by this people, and shall the work go on or stop? This is the question I lay before the Latter-day Saints. You have to judge for yourselves. I want you to answer it for yourselves. I shall not answer it; but I say to you that that is exactly the condition we as a people would have been in had we not taken the course we have.

. . . I saw exactly what would come to pass if there was not something done. I have had this spirit upon me for a long time. But I want to say this: I should have let all the temples go out of our hands; I should have gone to prison myself, and let every other man go there, had not the God of heaven commanded me to do what I did do; and when the hour came that I was commanded to do that, it was all clear to me. I went before the Lord, and I wrote what the Lord told me to write. . . .

I leave this with you, for you to contemplate and consider. The Lord is at work with us. (Cache Stake Conference, Logan, Utah, Sunday, November 1, 1891. Reported in Deseret Weekly, November 14, 1891.)

Now I will tell you what was manifested to me and what the Son of God performed in this thing. . . . All these things would have come to pass, as God Almighty lives, had not that Manifesto been given. Therefore, the Son of God felt disposed to have that thing presented to the Church and to the world for purposes in his own mind. The Lord had decreed the establishment of Zion. He had decreed the finishing of this temple. He had decreed that the salvation of the living and the dead should be given in these valleys of the mountains. And Almighty God decreed that the Devil should not thwart it. If you can understand that, that is a key to it. (From a discourse at the sixth session of the dedication of the Salt Lake Temple, April 1893. Typescript of Dedicatory Services, Archives, Church Historical Department, Salt Lake City, Utah.)